Today as I sat in Church listening to the word of the Lord and singing my praises to the Lord I caught a glimpse of a young woman (about my age), she reminded me exactly of myself. She sat alone in the pew with her infant son and around her neck was her husband's dog tag and his wedding band. When I looked at her it took me back to some of the saddest times in my life, you see for those of you who do not know me IRL, I have been that girl, sitting in the church pew alone with my infant son sitting next to me. Not only have I been that girl with her infant, but I was that girl with my son when he was 1 and 2 also. No this is not a pity party for me, but it was surreal to look at her and see myself, I looked at her and saw all of the sadness that she was feeling inside, her husband has recently left, now while she is not new to these deployments she now has an infant that counts on her to be strong. And that is the exact situation I found myself in 3 times within the last 4 years. She did not have to tell me she was hurting and sad, I could feel it, she did not have to cry for me to know that she was hurting, I felt it.
I now enjoy my husband as he has chosen to take a non-deployable position and is home! He will never have to face War again, he will never have to leave his boys while he goes away for months at a time, never knowing if he will make it home. He is here and here to stay. I pray daily for all of my girlfriends who are just like the girl I saw at church. I pray for the children that are left behind and wait to see their Daddy's again. I pray for our soldier's who leave their families behind to ensure our freedom is protected.
Little does the young woman at church know that while she may be a sad girl and may think she lives in a lonely world where no one really understand her. She is a sad girl, in a not so lonely world where many of us have been and many more continue to be.
Burning Bodhi (2015)
1 year ago